When They’re Only There to Use You and Walk Away

There are two kinds of people who sell you dreams only to use and dump you:

1. The Calculated Manipulators

These ones know exactly what they’re doing. They say all the right things, do just enough to keep you hooked, and make you believe in a future that never actually exists. whether it’s money, sex, attention, or an easy way out of commitment. They act agreeable and attentive, but behind your back, they’re already setting up their exit strategy. They pretend to go along with your expectations while secretly working toward what benefits them, ensuring they always get their way in the end.

Read More: Letting Go of Someone Who Was Never Yours – 4 Must-Read Strategies

2. The Ones Who Believe Their Own Lies—Until Reality Hits

These people convince themselves (and you) that they mean what they say. They jump into relationships with big plans and bold declarations, but their actions rarely match their words. Once the excitement fades and the reality of commitment sets in, they panic. Instead of owning up to their inconsistencies, they start looking for an escape—whether by ghosting, picking unnecessary fights, or slowly pulling away until you’re left wondering what went wrong.

But the truth is;

Users do and say whatever is necessary to avoid confrontation while getting what they want. They know that if they were upfront, they wouldn’t get the access, affection, or advantages they’re after. So, they fake it. And the worst part? It works.

Imagine if they truly said, “I’m never leaving my wife. This is just a fling. You’ll get some occasional texts, a few meet-ups, and that’s it.” Would you still find them attractive? Probably not. That’s why they don’t tell the truth—they sell you a fantasy instead.

Also Read: 10 Signs Someone Is Only Half-Interested in You

But here’s the thing: Future Faking isn’t a one-time thing. These people don’t just wake up at 35, 44, or 53 and suddenly start lacking integrity. They’ve been like this for years—maybe their entire lives. They overestimate their capacity for commitment, exaggerate their intentions, and then find ways to escape when reality catches up.

They are practised at this.

Gaslighting and Mind Games

One thing about users is —they take zero responsibility for the chaos they create.

They’ll tell you, “You misunderstood me.” They’ll claim, “I don’t know what gave you that impression.” Never mind the fact that they were the ones making all those grand plans. When they suddenly pull away, you’re left second-guessing yourself, wondering if you imagined it all.

Side note: That’s gaslighting. And it’s a dangerous trap that can leave you questioning your own judgment.

How to Protect Yourself

You can’t always predict when someone is faking a future or using you to dump you later. But you can pay attention to the warning signs:

1. Are they all talk, no action?
2. Is everything moving too fast, too soon?
3. Have you heard similar promises before, only for them to fall apart?

If someone’s words and actions aren’t lining up, listen to your gut. If they start distancing themselves, don’t chase—observe. And most importantly, set boundaries. Make concrete plans and hold them accountable. If they start backtracking, you’ll know exactly where you stand.

And always—always—make sure there are consequences. If they get away with it once, they’ll do it again.

Protect Yourself: Don’t Ignore the Red Flags
If someone’s actions don’t align with their words, take a step back. Listen to your gut. If their promises seem too good to be true—or if they repeatedly fail to show up for you—it’s time to rethink their role in your life.

You deserve love, respect, and honesty. Someone who truly cares won’t feel the need to manipulate or deceive you. If you recognize these signs, don’t wait around for them to decide when to discard you. Walk away with your dignity intact.

Final Thoughts

Future Fakers are flaky, deceptive, and selfish. They’ll waste your time, mess with your head, and then act like you’re crazy for believing what they told you.

If you’ve already been caught up with one, don’t blame yourself for their dishonesty. Step back, lean on people who actually care about you, and move on.

And if you think you’re about to be played? Take control. Don’t wait around for them to decide your future. Call them out, have a backup plan, and don’t let them dictate how things end.

At the end of the day, if you want a real relationship, you need someone who values honesty, integrity, and respect. Future Fakers? They’re just dead weight.

Your thoughts?